opinionated but relevant

«	August 2005	»
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31

I'm only joking girls......really!!

toast99 | 30 August, 2005 15:51

Hey Ladies

If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us, just get your flabby arse down to the gym.
Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, PUT THE BLOODY THING DOWN.
Don't cut your hair. EVER! It causes unnecessary arguments when we dare to comment on it.
Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect gift....again.
Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Shopping is not a sport.
Anything you wear is fine.....REALLY!!
Ask for what you want directly. Subtle hints don't work.
Face it, pissing standing up is more difficult than from point blank....we are bound to miss sometimes.
Do not question our sense of direction.
"Yes","No"and "Mmm" are perfectly acceptable answers.
Anything we said or did 12 months ago is inadmissable in a subsequent argument.
It's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's all the bloody chocolate you eat.
Let us ogle other women. How can we reassure you how pretty you are unless we compare?
Whenever possible, if you need an answer to a question, please ask away during the commercial breaks.

Only joking ladies...each to his own

Where did that young boy go to?

toast99 | 30 August, 2005 15:38

I spent a short while yesterday in a local bar, leaning on the counter and watching the shoppers in the town centre pass by. As one particular family passed I noticed a young boy of about 5 years-old look into the bar. I could see the curiousity and appreciation of his surroundings in his lively eyes. In time, as he passed adjacent to me, I caught his unwavering gaze. No alarm, just a direct look, inquisitive, bold.

I used to be that boy. I wish that I could discover him again.

Norwich Union and bargepoles

toast99 | 30 August, 2005 12:43

My wife is going to see her family in The Gambia over Christmas and having paid for the flight I needed travel insurance. Using the internet I felt that good old trusty Norwich Union would do the job. Paying the required sum immediately on 14th Aug we waited the necessary 4-5 working days, but as of today we are still waiting for the travel documentation, just the option of printing off the document online being available to date. The small money paid is not relevant, but what is disgraceful is the sheer lack of any customer service, apart from "it is on the way". I trust that nobody in blogland is hoping that Norwich Union will pay any insurance claim promptly......God forbid you have a personal pension with these financial morons!

Aug 20
I purchased travel insurance for my wife last weekend and we are still
to receive any documentation. Can you tell us how much longer we have
to wait?

no : TRS190406630

Tony Brookes, on behalf of Madlene Mendy.

Thank you.

Aug 22
Dear Mr Brookes,

Thank you for your email regarding travel insurance,

Your documents should have arrived within 4 - 5 working days, you
may have received these already but to avoid any further delays I have
issued a new policy schedule which you should hope to arrive shortly.

If we can be of any further assistance please do not hesitate to
contact us again.

Many Thanks,

Michael Tate
Internet Support
Norwich Union Direct

Opening hours:

Telephone: Weekdays 8am to 10pm, Saturday 8am to 6pm and Sunday
10am to 4pm. Call on 0800 888 111
On-line: Weekdays 6am to midnight, Saturday 8am to midnight and
Sunday 8am to 10pm. Email on support@norwich-union.co.uk

From: tony brookes on 20/08/2005 07:49
Office Phone No:
To: NUD Support@NORWICHUNION
cc:
Subject: single journey travel insurance

- Show quoted text -

I purchased travel insurance for my wife last weekend and we are
still
to receive any documentation. Can you tell us how much longer we
have
to wait?

no : TRS190406630

Tony Brookes, on behalf of Madlene Mendy.

Thank you.

Aug30
It is now 30th Aug, and having had money removed from my bank account on 14th Aug with the promise of documentation being sent within 4-5 days it is an unacceptable standard of customer relations to fail to deliver on your promise. I am expecting this documentation to arrive within 2 days, and if it does not I will demand a refund to enable us to contact a competant insurer.
Tony Brookes.

Quote me happy?.........as if

The messianic American Calvinist

toast99 | 24 August, 2005 14:13

While the World is in thrall/horror at Religious Fundamentalism it may be prudent to cast one's minds back to the early 17th century when a group of fanatical extremists wanted to transform England into a theocracy governed by their own interpretation of the Bible. They are remembered today as the Pilgrim Fathers.

The leader of this group who eventually sailed to America on the Mayflower was William Brewster, who would become the first governor of the New England colony. Rather than being a pious man who devoted his life to God, it was failure in his personal life that forged his "born-again Christianity", an echo that reverberates among many in America. A New World Order ruled by God's commandment, with him as it's first leader.

First form a cell of like-minded zealots, and call the Separatists. Among their theocracy, pubs were to be closed, gambling banned, women dressed in sober clothing and the Bible would become the foundation of civil society. See any echoes with any other countries? Later measures introduced by Brewster at Plymouth Rock would be a law making it illegal to live alone, and for women and children to be treated with severity. A statute on the books in the Plymouth Colony allowed for the execution of children who disobeyed their parents.

After a period of time in England with the threat of having their right ears cut off, nostrils slit open and the letters SS ("stirrer of sedition" branded on the foreheads, along with a spell in the Clink (Abu Ghraib of Puritan England) where they were chained, tortured and beaten, standing knee-deep in fetid water they decided to join other fundamentalists in Amsterdam, meeting and joining with the Ancient Brethren, a Taleban of their time. Years followed of sedition and a hardening of religious radicalism, and after being hounded by Dutch and English authorities they decided to set sail across the Atlantic to found a new country.

Their attitudes to sex, God and the Bible is now the cultural DNA of the United States. When fanatics desire to go back to earlier times, when twice as many Americans are said to believe in the Devil as Darwin's Theory of Evolution, when the President is described by The New York Times as a "messianic American Calvinist" then it is surely worth looking over your shoulder at the fundamentalists who landed in America in 1620.